you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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