Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
