I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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