Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
