its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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