I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
