Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
