your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
