I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
