There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
