We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
