so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
