Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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