Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We need to rekindle our bromance
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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