I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
