Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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