I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
