I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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