Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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