your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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