my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
