Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
