I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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