The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
