He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
