Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
