There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
