I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize