Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize