so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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