Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize