Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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