if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
