He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
