if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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