butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
