No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
