it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
