im about as happy as oj after his trial
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
