fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
