That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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