is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
