Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
