is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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