I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
