...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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