last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
