peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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