i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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