I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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