So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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